re: post-honeymoon blues by piggy

November 01, 2007 12:34 AM

voting has closed for this question

dear internet,

i have a corollary question to "what does it MEAN".

how many of you have had the following experience after the honeymoon period of a new relationship is over: you start to want more personal space, more time to do things that are uniquely YOUR hobbies WITHOUT the bf, and begin to find all kinds of his personal traits -- laugh, silly jokes, dress sense -- really, really irritating?

results 22 votes

nope -- but then again my boyfriend is not also my colleague so i don't have to see him all day, every damn day (6 votes)
 27%
i don't know what you're talking about (2 votes)
 9%
nope - i still find them charming (4 votes)
 18%
yes - and it makes me want to run 1,000 miles to be alone (2 votes)
 9%
yes - but i deal with it this way (comment pls) (6 votes)
 27%
yes - this is a normal part of any relationship and the key from now on is to hide your irritation and seethe quietly (2 votes)
 9%
yes - and fight all the time until you break up eventually (0 votes)
 0%
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comments

  • FluffyBullet says:

    My longest relationship was barely four months...

    Nov 01, 2007 05:53 AM
  • sloebertje says:

    I had the same thing with previous boyfriends, sooner or later they really annoyed me and I stopped finding them attractive.

    One of the reasons I consider my current bf The One, is that after five years the honeymoon period is definitely over and I can see his faults for what they are, but I still feel no urge to run screaming :)

    Nov 01, 2007 09:01 AM
  • inafish says:

    I can top that: 8 years and very few major fights. However, personal space is a very important issue in our relationship (in our case, my husband needs much more of it than I do). We try to work it out as we go along, re-negotiate it from time to time, stay flexible. We also try NOT to fight and/or seethe quietly over it, because that's not really helping.

    Nov 02, 2007 05:52 AM
  • consectari says:

    Seething quietly is never the answer (and as a side note, may be bad for your health!). What I do when The Boy is driving me nuts is go out somewhere...the library, Target, just anywhere that I know he won't want to go. I distract myself and when I'm calm again, I can think about the situation more rationally. I also have a blog (that he doesn't read) that I can vent on, if need be.

    This is the part where you start to really see what's there between you, not what you hope is there, you know? You want to be able to assess the situation clearly, so if you need time to yourself, take it. Set up a weekly night out with your friends or a dinner date with a family member-something just for you. Good luck!

    Nov 02, 2007 10:35 AM
  • Yuri says:

    I second (third?) the don't seethe advice - even though it is so easy to say and not so easy to follow. I'd say, don't feel like you have to get used to absolutely everything - as Johnny says, after the honeymoon is over, you may actually find bits that are in the way of true compatibility. That has to be allowed. Then again, if you can get over the bugging bits, you may find a real partner for the long term. Which would be great, would it not?

    Nov 03, 2007 06:24 AM
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