dear internet,
a follow-up to this saga with a high school crush: http://dearinter.net/question/2594.
so: the high school crush in question has now fixed up plans to meet up next month, and spend 3-4 days together in a nice scenic place. just the two of you. you'd think this sounds promising, BUT:
-- the other night i came home in a very good mood after a cocktail evening, and err drunk-facebooked him. it was nothing cringeworthy, just a short note saying "i'm looking forward to seeing you.. and getting to know you all over again." nothing too bad, really.
thing is: it's been over 24 hours and no reply.
-- yes, he is on holiday and not checking facebook very often, but it is still often enough to know that he's been checking, without bothering to reply to that message or write for the past 10 days.
-- yes, maybe i'm doing the girly thing. by which i mean i expect "too much" before we even start up any kind of relationship. maybe he's just doing the guy thing and being 1) naturally uncommunicative and 2) simply waiting until we are face to face before knowing what's what.
-- but STILL: women have egos/pride too. and i'm not a troll. and yes, he is very hot, and you also suspect a little arrogant. BUT this does not mean it's ok to simply ignore it when a girl gives you a nice compliment and not return the favor.
so, dear internet, this may sound extreme but much as i am crushing on this guy, i am thinking of cancelling these travel plans. it's not so much out of spite, it's just that now i've gotten a little distance (haven't seen the guy in over 2 months), i know that he's not the right one for me. i could never be with someone this aloof. and i'm not 21 anymore -- if i'm going to invest time and energy in a guy, i would rather it be someone i can see some sort of prospects with.
also: it just so happens that our travel plans take place just days before my 30th birthday. and eerily, out of the past 10 birthdays, around 7 or 8 of them were crap, because i spent them hurt by, or hung up on, some stupid guy who was mean. i had sworn that this would not happen this year (i'd rather spend it with my parents, ie people who love me). but it looks like i'm setting myself up for yet another lovesick birthday. i would kick myself if that happened.
so internet -- am i being petty and need to give this guy a chance, or should i just be smart and call the whole thing off before i get hurt again?
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Certain things you mention in your question: you know he's not someone you can see yourself being with; you foresee being miserable on your birthday if you go on this trip to be with him; suggest to me that, in your heart, you know you shouldn't go down this road. But really, you're the only one who can answer that truthfully - that's just what I see between the lines of your question.
What is your gut telling you about this? The best advice I can give you is to listen to it carefully and take it very seriously... the things I've regretted most have always been the things I've done (or not done) against the better judgment of my tummy!
Good luck!
even if you dont hook up, you could still have a smashing time in a different place. you arent spending your actual birthday there, so that factor should be minimal. you dont see yourself with him... er... because he didnt respond to a facebook message and that makes him aloof? sometimes you are busy, you look at them, you say "ill write later" but if you are on vacation never get around to it or forget. or he just said "oh, nice, she wrote but that doesnt really NEED a response because there were no question marks involved." who knows. he could be into you and not really aloof, just on vacation!
i dont know. if its a place you havent been OR a place you have been but think would be neat anyway, then what is the harm in going? head for a hike, see some animals, whatever, but it could be a blast even if you dont "connect," but might get a friend out of the deal, eh?
You should go, if he's arranging 3 days just to be with you I don't think you have to worry that he isn't interested. Anyhow if you sent him a facebook message when you were drunk it's not like you spent that much time thinking about what you were writing, so perhaps he saw it as the casual thought that it was.